What to Do When Your Spouse Gains Weight: 100 Tips and Resources

By Vanessa Jones

If your spouse has recently let themselves go a bit, how do go about telling them that they need to get in shape? After all, you’ve vowed to stick by them for better or worse, and weight gain is hardly the worst thing that can happen. But weight gain can lead to many health conditions, and if you’re truly worried about the health of your spouse you can’t help but to want them to shed a few pounds. Here are some tips and suggestions on motivating your spouse to get back in sexy, svelte and healthy shape.


Weight is never an easy topic to broach. Check out these tips to help get the ball rolling with your spouse.

  1. Decide whether or not it matters to you. For some people, the weight their spouse gains may just not be an issue. Decide whether or not you really feel your spouse’s weight is something that’s affecting their health or your life together. If not, you may want to just let it go, and embrace them as they are.
  2. Be gentle. Let’s face it, there’s no nice way to tell someone you think they’re looking a little rounder than before, but do your best to bring up the issue in a caring, non confrontational way. Realize that they are probably already well-aware they’ve put on weight and probably don’t really need you to point it out.
  3. Understand they may be angry, hurt or upset. No matter what route you take if you decide to confront your spouse about his or her weight they’re probably not going to feel good about it; it is a sensitive issue for most. Be understanding that even if you’re talking with them with the best intentions that they may not react the way you’d like.
  4. Don’t nag. If your spouse is making an effort to lose weight, don’t constantly nag or ride them about their food choices. Making them feel guilty will more than likely not encourage them to eat less, but instead to run to those comfort foods.
  5. Provide support. For many people, losing weight can be an uphill battle, especially if it’s been years since they’ve hit the gym. Make sure you’re giving your spouse the love and support they need to successfully feel healthy can make a big difference.
  6. Search for the root of the issue. Physical problems are easy to see in a person, but the cause of these problems may be something less obvious. Often there are underlying emotional issues that are contributing to weight gain and helping your spouse uncover and work through these can really be the first step in getting healthy.
  7. Empathize. Losing weight is tough and your spouse will benefit from some empathy from you. Your spouse will feel more supported and it can help bring you together as a couple.
  8. Work together. The best and most effective way to motivate your spouse to get in shape is to do it together. Then one person isn’t be singled out, you can support each other in fitness and diet plans, and work together as the team you should be towards a common goal.
  9. Let them decide. If you spouse does want to shed some weight, let them be the boss of how they’ll go about it. You may have good intentions, but trying to control things won’t help and may even turn them off about the whole idea.
  10. Make it fun. Doing active things doesn’t have to mean spending hours on a treadmill. Play tennis together, take walks, go hiking and do active things that are not only beneficial but fun as well. It will make it much easier for your spouse to stick to getting healthy and you’ll get to spend valuable time together.
  11. Don’t provide unnecessary temptations. Because you are sharing a household, you can make it almost impossible for your spouse to lose weight if you constantly have junk food around the house. They may be able to resist the temptation some of the time, but no one is strong enough to resist is all of the time, so keep the unhealthy stuff out of your house if you really want to help your spouse.
  12. Make it about health. While part of your motivation for getting your spouse to slim down may be about more superficial issues, the heart of the issue should be about getting them healthy. With numerous health consequences of being overweight, you don’t need any other motivation to work out and eat right.
  13. Be positive. Even if your spouse doesn’t look quite as super-sexy as he or she did when you got married, it doesn’t mean there aren’t other things you love just as much about them, maybe even more now. Try to focus on those things so your spouse still feels valued, special and loved and it’s not all about the things you see wrong with them.
  14. Make sure they know you love them. At the heart of your efforts to get your spouse healthy should be constant reminders of how much you love them, big or small.
  15. Revamp favorite foods. Just because you’re watching what you eat doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy old favorites. Think of new, healthier ways to prepare your spouse’s favorite foods.
  16. Don’t exclude your spouse. One surefire way to sabotage your spouse’s weight loss is to make them feel excluded from special occasions that involve food by not giving them a slice of cake or making them feel left out of the celebration. Leave the decision up to them whether or not they indulge.
  17. Encourage them to visit the doctor. Weight gain isn’t always about simply eating too much. There are a variety of medical conditions, some more serious than others, that can cause weight gain as well, in ways that your spouse simply cannot control. Getting a full checkup can be a good idea in general, as it will let your spouse know just how much their weight may be affecting their health.
  18. Eat at home. While there may be many healthy options when eating out, you and your spouse will be tempted to eat less and better if you eat out as little as possible. That way you’ll know exactly what goes into every meal you eat.
  19. Be a role model. You won’t get far with convincing your spouse that he or she needs to lose weight if you are not looking so fit yourself. Taking action and eating right, working out and living healthy can go a long way towards encouraging your spouse to do the same.
  20. Give them motivation. Both you and your spouse can set fitness goals as motivation to help make all the hard work really feel like it’s paying off. Plan getaways together, fun nights out or anything that both of you really enjoy that can act as a motivating factor to get in shape.
  21. Eat together. Making mealtimes a part of the day when you come together as a couple can be helpful for a variety of reasons. You’ll get to talk and slow down while you’re eating as well as getting the chance to cook and prepare meals together that are healthier and better for you both.


These quick reads can help you find support, advice and information on approaching your spouse.

  1. How to Accept a Spouse Gaining Weight: If you want to learn to accept your spouse in their new, rounded form, this article can help you to do so.
  2. How to Tell Your Spouse to Lose Weight: Telling your spouse you think they look a little plump isn’t easy. This article provides some suggestions on making the process a little easier.
  3. 8 Ways to Help Your Partner Lose Weight: Want to help your overweight spouse? This article is full of great tips.
  4. How to Make Your Spouse Live Longer: Help your spouse live a long healthy life by getting them to follow these health tips.
  5. Supporting Your Spouse’s Weight Loss Efforts: Read this article to learn some great ways you can be supportive of your spouse’s health goals.
  6. Do You Help or Hound Your Heavy Spouse: Learn how the things you say to your spouse may be hurting rather than helping their weight loss.
  7. What to Do When Your Husband is Overweight: Here you’ll find some pointers on how to act if your spouse isn’t quite the same active, healthy person you married.
  8. Loving Your Overweight Partner: Learn to love your partner just as they are from this article.
  9. Weight Management and Your Spouse/Partner: For Better or Worse: Even if your spouse has put on some weight, you can find ways to help them in this helpful article.
  10. Gain a spouse and you’ll likely gain some pounds, too: It may not entirely be your spouse’s fault that they’ve gained weight. This article explains how it’s fairly common to put on weight after marriage.
  11. Help Motivate an Obese Spouse: Get some pointers on giving your spouse motivation so they can feel good about their progress.
  12. How to Get Family Support When Losing Weight: This article explains ways that you can help support and encourage your spouse in their weight loss.
  13. Don’t Say This to Your Dieting Spouse: Check out this article to learn what things are not a good idea to say to a spouse about their weight.
  14. How to Keep Your Husband Healthy: With obesity being tied to heart disease, stroke and cancer, this article explains some waysyou can help keep your husband in top shape.
  15. Telling Your Honey, "It’s Time to Lose Weight": Learn to say and what to avoid when you think your partner needs to lose weight.
  16. Violent Acres: What to Do About a Fat Spouse: Get some straight talk on telling your spouse you think they need to shed a few pounds from this blog entry.

Do It Together

The best way to get a spouse to make a lifestyle change is for the two of you to do it together. These blogs, tips and articles can help you make the most of your fitness goals as a couple.

  1. Get Fit Together: Get in shape right alongside your spouse and this site can tell you how.
  2. Partner Up: Lose Weight With Your Spouse: Form a great team to lose weight with advice from this blog.
  3. Dieters Find Success with a Spouse: Find success for the both of your weight loss by working together, as this article states.
  4. Weight Loss for Couples: Learn how to best lost weight with your spouse, partner or significant other from this article.
  5. Couples Weight Loss: Build a Team That Can’t Be Beaten: Working together can make losing weight all the easier and this site can help you build a partnership with your spouse that will benefit both of your health.
  6. How Couples Can Get Fit Together: Here you’ll get some great pointers on shedding weight right alongside your partner.
  7. The Link Between Couples and Weight: Find out how couples influence each other in terms of weight from this article.
  8. 7 Steps to Get Fit With Your Spouse: These seven steps can help point you towards a fit and happy future with your spouse.
  9. Working Out With Your Spouse or Partner: Get some tips and advice on working out together with your spouse from this blog.
  10. Ways to Get Your Significant Other To Exercise: Working together, as this article explores, can be a great way to motivate your significant other.
  11. Gym Couples Work it Out: Making your gym routine into an activity for two can be a great way to spend time with each other and get in shape.
  12. Healthy Eating Tips for Couples: Six Ways to Stay Slim Together: Eating together can be a great way to ensure you’re both getting the nutrition and healthy foods you need.
  13. Diet Solutions: With Spouse: This site offers some suggestions to losing weight as a couple.
  14. Couples Dealing With Weight Loss Together: Learn how your support can make or break your spouse’s weight loss plan.
  15. Couples Diet Better Together: This article from USA Today shows how working together to get in shape really does benefit both of you.

Motivating Factors

There are a number of health issues that can be exacerbated by being overweight. These articles and websites address some valid health reasons you can address with your spouse.

  1. Obese Couples Risk Lower Fertility: If you’re trying to have a child with your spouse, you may be surprised to find that his or her weight might be making it more difficult.
  2. I’m No Longer Attracted to My Overweight Spouse: While health is central to losing weight, your spouse’s wright may very well be affecting your attraction to them as well, as this article addresses.
  3. What Are the Health Consequences of Being Overweight?: This site gives some pretty good reasons why losing weight can be a great idea.
  4. Study Says Obesity Can Be Contagious: If your spouse thinks his or her weight isn’t hurting anyone but themselves they may want to think again. This study shows that overweight people can often influence the behaviors of those around them.
  5. Why Lose Weight?: Need a reason to start losing? The American Heart Association provides several on their site.
  6. FDA: Lose Weight: The FDA lays out some reasons losing weight is in your best interest.
  7. Staying Slim Improves Breast Cancer Survival Rates: Lowering your weight can have unexpected benefits, as this article explains.
  8. Health Consequences of Obesity: Learn how your weight can affect your overall health.
  9. Obesity and Disease Risk: Being overweight can increase your risk of getting many types of diseases and you can learn more about them here.
  10. Smoking and Obesity Curb Sex: Find out how health factors like obesity and bad habits like smoking can affect your drive for and enjoyment of sex.
  11. 7 Good Reasons to Lose Weight: Read this blogger-created list to learn some reasons that weight loss should be a priority.
  12. 10 Health Factors for Staying Slim: This site lists some big health reasons why men should keep off the weight.


If your spouse is searching for something to get them motivated or inspire them to get in gear, have them check out these great weight loss blogs that show how it’s done, and give them support from others in the same boat.

  1. Former Fat Guy: This blogger tracks all his trials and tribulations when it comes to weight loss in his blog.
  2. A Weight Lifted: For women who are tired of constantly yo-yo dieting, this blog can provide some inspiration on losing weight the right way.
  3. 101 Reasons I Hate Being Fat: Find some reasons to lose weight from this blogger who is tracking her weight loss.
  4. Diet Blog: Here you’ll find some get motivation to lose weight from other bloggers and as well as news and information on health care and fitness.
  5. Scale Junkie: Understand that being healthy is about more than a number on the scale from this blog about nutrition.
  6. Get Fit Slowly: Follow these friends as they work to lose weight and get in shape.
  7. Confessions of the Guy at Weight Watchers: This runner has lost loads of weight already, over a hundred pounds, and you can follow his progress here.
  8. John is Fit: This blogger felt unhealthy and vowed to lose some of his almost 300 pounds by living healthy and eating right.
  9. Fat Girl Dives In: Blogger Tina lost over 100 pounds, gained it back and now it trying to lose it all over again.
  10. Journeying to Lose 200 Pounds: With 200 pounds to lose, follow along as this blogger tries to lose it and keep it off.
  11. Losing It: This female blogger details how she is changing her eating and living habits to be healthier and happier.
  12. A Life Less Sweet: Cutting out high fructose corn syrup may be a big help in losing weight, as this blog explains.
  13. Escape from Obesity: This blogger and mother of five is trying to lose weight from her present size of 278 pounds and you can follow along as she takes it off through better eating and exercise.

Tips and Advice

These sites provide some basic tips and advice on ways to lose weight and get in shape.

  1. How to Lose Weight By Drinking Less Alcohol: Beer and mixed drinks can have loads of calories you may not even realize you’re drinking. Your spouse, and you, can shed some pounds but cutting back on the booze.
  2. Easy Ways to Lose Weight: 50 + Ideas: If you’re looking for some easy ways to get started on a weight loss plan for you and your spouse, these tips can provide some simple inspiration.
  3. Wii Weight Loss Plan: Who says losing weight can’t be fun? Check out this site to learn how you can lose weight just by playing games on the Wii.
  4. How to Lose Weight Watching TV: If your spouse isn’t ready to hit the gym just yet, get them moving at home with these exercises they can do in front of the TV.
  5. 50 Weight Loss Tips: Get some pointers on losing weight from this site.
  6. How to Lose Weight Safely: Don’t force your spouse into a dangerous crash diet. Read this site so you can ensure your spouse is losing the pounds safely.
  7. How to Most Effectively Start Working Out When You Haven’t Exercised in Years: Even if your spouse hasn’t lifted a finger to work out in ages, this blog can help them to learn how to get up and get moving no matter how rusty they are.
  8. Tips To Get Into Shape Without Leaving The House: You don’t need thousands of dollars worth of workout equipment to get in shape, this site tells you how to get fit in your own home.
  9. How to Start Doing Yoga: Learn to do the downward dog and the mountain pose from this beginner’s yoga guide.
  10. Weight Training 101: Weight training is an essential part of any workout routine and this site provides all the basics
  11. Body Fitness Guide: From yoga to fitness supplements, this site provides a ton of helpful health and fitness information.

Marriage Advice

If you feel your husband’s or wife’s weight gain is putting a strain on your marriage, you may want to check out some of these marriage advice sites that can help.

  1. A Good Husband: Here you can get marriage advice from a man’s point of view.
  2. WifeAdvice: Check out this blog to read funny stories from this husband and wife duo.
  3. Relationships in the Raw: Give this blog a read to learn how to better communicate with and improve your relationship with your spouse.
  4. Ask April: Send in all your burning questions on marriage, including issues with your spouse’s weight, to this marriage and relationship advice blog.
  5. Save the Marriage: If your spouse’s weight has put some tension between the two of you, learn how to work towards a better relationship from this blog.
  6. The Marriage Counseling Blog: For those who aren’t quite ready to go to real marriage counseling, this blog can be a good first step.
  7. Marriage Actually: This blog provides an honest look at marriage, both the good and the bad things.
  8. Love and Relationship Advice Blog: Susie and Otto Collins, relationship coaches, authors, and speakers maintain this blog that can give you some great advice on your marriage.
  9. Relationship Advice: Find some assistance in keeping your marriage running smoothly check out this blog.
  10. Marriage Blog: Families.com provides a lot of helpful tips and ideas for making marriage solid.
  11. The F-Word: Visit this blog if you want to learn to accept your spouse just the way he or she is.
  12. Relationship Advice for Relationship Bliss: This blog deals with turn-ons and offs, relationship difficulties and more.