December 29th, 2008
Being in a new relationship is a wonderful thing. There is a care-free feeling that comes with this new person in your life and the courtship phase of a relationship brings out feelings you may not have felt for some time. The thing is relationships are not easy. Once we move past the initial smitten phase, reality sets in, and the relationship becomes something that must be managed like other parts of our lives.
Loving relationships are hard work, which is why so many young relationships fail to make it past the three month marker. This is when we really begin to see the other person for who they are. They are not perfect; like us, they too have flaws. If you care enough for the other person to want to be with them, you must be able to have the freedom to speak from your heart in regard to your feelings and what you want out of the relationship. What follows are a few tips to keep communication open in order to move your new relationship to the next level.
Be proactive and take the first step. Most of us are afraid to express our innermost feelings with anyone, let alone someone you’ve known for a few short months. However, if you truly see yourself staying with this person, it is of the utmost importance that you break the silence and start talking about things that really matter to you. Gauge the person and decide how deep you should go in regard to feelings, but remember: it’s better to find out now whether or not they are willing to open up to you.
Don’t force the other person to tell you any more than they want to. Perhaps sharing feelings is important to you, but your new partner is unsure of how much he or she wants to divulge. This is natural; it is more difficult for some to express themselves than others. If he or she is still willing to listen to you, it’s a good sign. Just make it clear that whenever they are ready to talk, you are there to listen without judgment.
Write a letter to your partner. Sometimes it’s just easier to get your thoughts down on paper. Writing a handwritten letter to your partner shows that you are willing to take the time and commit what you have to say as a record for them to look back upon. Expressing the way you feel comes out much more personally when written down. Think clearly about what you want to say and don’t ramble on. A great method when writing down feelings and issues is to start with positives, move on to address concerns, and then reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship once again at the close of the letter.