Nerds Do It Better

Gone are the days when dating was a term associated only with teenagers and people in their twenties; gone are the days when dates were looked on as stepping stones to a deeper relationship or marriage. Today, we’re seeing the emergence of 40-plus men and women looking for people they can see on a casual basis – they’re divorced, widowed or still single and looking for companionship in the prime of their life. Marriage is not necessarily on the cards, but if it does happen, it’s a welcome side effect of dating when you’re above forty. The 40-plus dating scenario is both different from and same as its 20-something counterpart, and if you’re confused by this statement, here’s an explanation.

What’s still the same…

•    The uncertainty that’s a constant companion when you’re meeting someone for the first time, especially when you’re being set up on a blind date.
•    The anticipation as date night gets closer, especially if you know the person and are hoping to take the relationship to the next level.
•    The doubts that plague you about the relationship status after you’ve gone on a few dates.

What’s changed…

•    You’re more mature now, having gone through adult life and its trials and tribulations and wiser for the same. You don’t tend to make the same mistakes you did when you were much younger and clueless about life.
•    You carry emotional baggage, from your past experiences and relationships. They may be good or bad or a mixed bag – they always affect the way you look at and approach your new relationships.
•    Your family may or may not approve, especially your children. It’s up to you to make them understand that you need your own life and get them to see your point of view; try not to antagonize them even as you pursue your own happiness.
•    The people you meet are also battle-scarred warriors who’ve been down roads similar to the ones you’ve travelled, so be prepared accordingly.
•    You may not meet people who’re the same age or one or two years younger or older than you. They may be either much younger or much older, so if you’re choosy, you may not find too many datable people out there.
•    There may not be any of the tender-footing and leading questions that open a traditional date in your 20s. Most people who date in their 40s take the practical, no-nonsense approach and are open about what they’re looking for in the relationship right from the word go.

Dating in your 40s and above may seem like an uphill task, especially when you’ve been off the scene for decades. But it’s like riding a bicycle – once you learn, you never forget. So get into the spirit of things with the right attitude, and watch life begin anew at 40. 
 

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