Nerds Do It Better

 By Alisa Miller

Attraction is more than looking like a supermodel or professional athlete. It’s all about who you are as a person. The following suggestions touch on physical as well as mental changes that you can make to become more attractive. Most of these are super easy and don’t even require money. Give a few of these a try and see what sparks start flying.

Everyone Can Do These

No matter if you are a man or a woman, young or old, these tips are sure to help you become more attractive to others as well as yourself. Get practicing today!

1. Smile. A smile lights up your face and makes others want to smile too. It’s much easier to like someone with happiness radiating from them.. Your smile tells others that you are happy, confident, and open to getting to know them. Try a simple whitening technique to help brighten that smile, too.
2. Be honest. Lies eventually make their way to the surface. Being truthful (and faithful once you are in a relationship) nurtures trust and creates a strong foundation in a friendship or relationship. Honesty is sexy.
3. Keep it real. Don’t try to make yourself into someone you are not. If you go around bragging and boasting about what you would like to be rather than who you are, it will eventually come out. Being confident in who you are will make you so much more attractive than trying to wear a mask for who you would like to be.
4. Be well groomed. Bathe regularly and keep you hair clean. If you need a haircut, get one. Shaggy, unkempt hair is not attractive. Wearing clean clothes is also part of being well-groomed. If you’ve had the same jeans on for a week, it will show.
5. Show interest. Don’t just talk about yourself and what you like. Ask questions and show a genuine interest in the other person. If the person you are trying to impress notices that you really care about what he or she likes, then you have made yourself much more interesting.
6. Be Confident. Make decisions rather than always deferring to the other person, walking with your shoulders held back and your head up, and feeling sure of yourself all make an important impact on how you look to the opposite sex. Here are some tips on looking and feeling more confident.
7. Exercise. Sitting around watching TV and eating potato chips all weekend takes its toll on your body. Get outside and walk, run, or ride your bike. Better yet, go to a gym where you can do some exercise and potentially meet someone. Find some motivation and get moving!
8. Think positively. No one likes to listen to a complainer. Trying to find the positive in each situation will show that you are resilient and resourceful. People who believe they can make things happen are much more attractive than those who allow themselves to fall victim to circumstances. Follow these tips to break the habit of negative thinking.
9. Flirt. Learn how to be playful, yet not overbearing. The goal of flirting is to show the other person you are interested…but not too much. Use a light touch, laugh at or tell jokes (not too racy, now), and make eye contact. Find out more about flirting here and get some practice in right away.
10. But don’t flirt with just anyone. Throwing yourself at any available person of the opposite sex is definitely not sexy. If you are trying to attract the attention of one person, keep your attention on them. They will definitely think you aren’t interested if you are paying more attention to the person at the table next to you.
11. Hold your temper. If things don’t go just right or if something unexpected comes along, don’t overreact. Staying calm and letting the situation play itself out with out any added drama makes you look mature and capable.
12. Keep your promise. If you agree to an activity or to meet at a certain time, do what you promised. By keeping your word, you show that you know the value of the other person’s time and respect them enough to do what you said you would.
13. Get a sense of humor. Both men and women love a person with a sense of humor. This doesn’t mean you have to know the best jokes or you laugh at everything she says. A sense of humor just means you can use and appreciate humor. Use this advice to help improve your sense of humor.
14. Don’t stalk. Don’t call her three times a day and don’t follow him home from work. Stalking is not only unattractive, it’s unsettling. Find a way to show you are interested without going overboard. And if your interest has made it plain that she or he is not interested in you, then back off quickly.
15. Forget past relationships. At least while you are talking to others, don’t dwell on past break-ups or the ex. Especially, don’t assign blame for the end of the relationship. Focus on the future and leave the past out of your conversations with new people.
16. Look beyond the physical. If you are only willing to accept the best looking person in the room as a potential date, you are not only setting yourself up to fail, but you are also projecting the idea to others that you only care about superficial qualities. Showing interest in someone’s talent, intelligence, or charming personality opens up your world to new possibilities and shows others that you have a depth that appreciates more in life than a fleeting beauty.
17. Have fun. When you are having fun, others want to join you. Find ways to have fun in every situation. Practice. If you are stuck in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles, make jokes or strike up casual conversation. Don’t focus on the negative part of the wait, but enjoy meeting those around you–even if you aren’t attracted to them. After a few times, you will feel comfortable enough to make fun wherever you go.

For Men

Guys, here are some suggestions specifically for you. Making these simple changes can take you a long way when it comes to impressing the women.

18. Be respectful. Treat women with respect. Making derogatory statements or belittling her will most certainly turn her off. Instead, comment on her positive traits and enjoy what she can bring to the relationship.
19. Don’t look for a mother figure. Women want to be your equal, not your mother. Don’t expect that they want to be at your beck and call or that they live to do for you. Realize that women are people too and have their own wishes and needs to attend to. Go ask your mom for that kind of attention, not the girl you are trying to attract.
20. Lose the shyness. Standing behind your buddies and not making eye contact will not make you very attractive. Stand up straight, look her in the eye, and smile. If she smiles back, you know you’ve made a connection.
21. Don’t think sex. If you are just trying to get a woman into bed, it will show. Be genuinely excited to spend time with a woman without trying to have sex with her. If it happens, that’s a bonus, but don’t make it the goal.
22. Use compliments wisely. Overusing compliments or trying too hard to be nice will just make you look desperate. Use compliments when you really mean them. Also, make them specific. Don’t tell a woman she’s beautiful, comment on the shoes she’s wearing or the way she has styled her hair. Learn more about compliments here.
23. Be romantic. Romantic doesn’t have to be over the top. Simple things like showing up for a date with a single Gerber daisy goes a long way in the romance department and shows the woman of your attention that you are interested in making her happy. Here are some tips for easy, inexpensive ways to show your romantic side.
24. Be sensitive. The stoic man who never seems to feel emotions is usually not attractive to a woman. If you can recognize a tender, sad, or especially touching moment with a few simple words, you will appear sensitive and much more attractive than if you ignore the emotion of a moment. Additionally, being sensitive to her needs will take you far. Men who appear out of touch with what is going on are generally not considered attractive. This fun primer will help you get started on understanding sensitivity.
25. Don’t obsess on sports. Lots of men love sports and lots of women do not. Staring at the basketball game on the TV above her head or talking non-stop about who you think will be the first round draft choice are not attractive.
26. Be mature. There’s not a bigger turn-off than watching a guy do several beer bongs or listening to a man tell the story of how he totally blew off the child support payments to his baby’s mother. Be a man and do the right thing. It’s very attractive.
27. Listen. Don’t just hear the words coming out of her mouth, but really listen to what she is saying. Nod your head or interject with an "uh-huh" here and there. When she realizes you care enough to pay attention to her, she will be interested in you.

For Women

Okay girls, it’s your turn. Give some of this advice a try and see where it takes you.

28. Accept a compliment. When he tells you how much he likes your bracelet, thank him. You don’t have to gush, but also don’t completely blow him off. Accepting a compliment with grace speaks volumes about you.
29. Dress age-appropriately. If you are twenty-something, don’t dress like your grandma and conversely, if you are a sexy fifty-something, don’t shop for your clothes in the juniors’ department. Dressing your age makes you look more attractive. Also, make sure your clothes fit properly.  Too tight or too baggy is not pretty. Men will appreciate the fact that you have enough confidence to dress with style and elegance.
30. Find your niche. Are you a professional, a rock star, or an athlete? Dress your part and live your life accordingly. If you love high heels and skirts, wearing hiking boots and shorts to a date where you are trying to impress an athletic guy sends mixed messages to your date and you will probably feel less comfortable.
31. Lose the drama. Bursting into tears over a broken nail, berating the waiter because he forgot your lemon wedge, and giggling loudly or uncontrollably are not attractive. Neither is constantly gossiping about every girl you know. Your zest for life is a good thing, just remember to keep a perspective about what is happening and how you react.
32. Ask him out. Asking a guy out is sexy. It shows you have confidence and aren’t willing to just sit back and let him take the lead. Here are some tips on how to ask a guy for a date.
33. Have an opinion. Agreeing with everything he says won’t impress him. Sometimes you may have similar views. At those other times, be honest about how you feel or what you think. Happily agreeing to a date to an action movie when you hate them doesn’t help the relationship or your attractiveness. 
34. Wear makeup appropriately. Heavy makeup says you lack confidence in your appearance while no makeup at all can tell a man that you just don’t care about your appearance. Strike a balance and look your best. For tips on makeup application and selection, visit this blog.
35. Control jealousy. Nothing looks more unattractive than a jealous woman. Especially early on in a relationship when there is just no reason, acting jealous of his friendships, past relationships, or how he spends his time is just a turn-off.
36. Don’t focus on how you look. It’s important that you look nice and you feel comfortable–and you want to choose an attractive picture to put on dating site profiles–but don’t spend all your time worrying over your appearance or asking how something looks. Men just want to enjoy your company and don’t really care if your hair is perfect.
37. Take it slow. Don’t start picking out the engagement ring after the second date. If he is interested, he will call you or send an email. If you start taking the relationship too serious too quickly, he will probably not stick around.

Now that you know what to do, get out there and start practicing. Plan a night out with your friends or accept an invitation to a party so you can put some of your newfound attractiveness to work for you. Happy dating!

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