2008 June | Nerds Do It Better

June 17th, 2008

10 Essential Dating Lessons from Sex and the City

There is no denying the impact that "Sex and the City" has made on the contemporary dating scene. Just ask any single, cosmopolitan woman and she will undoubtedly be familiar with the many adventures of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda. We could all learn from the show, as it bravely unmasks every dirty detail of finding love in the modern world. Below are the 10 most essential dating lessons from "Sex and the City."

It’s Okay to Be Single – This was perhaps the most important lesson that "Sex and the City" bestowed upon the world, particularly where women were concerned. Although singledom didn’t always bring happiness to the four main characters, the ladies sure made it look like fun 90 percent of the time.
To be single means to be independent, and with a fairy tale-like Manhattan glittering in the background, the show made us all feel okay with the idea of being single. These women were not spinsters — they were cosmopolitan sexpots. Refreshing, indeed.
Sex Can Be Healthy – Let’s face it: sex changed for us all when the AIDS virus started taking lives in the 1980s. Although we learned more about the disease and how it is contracted by the time we entered the 1990s, this association between sex and death still permeated the single community. With that came guilt for those who still enjoyed casual sex from time to time.
Enter "Sex and the City" in 1998 and we all breathed a sigh of relief — people were still having sex! Safe sex, in all its full-frontal glory, was a huge part of the television series. Although this probably didn’t endear the show to religious fundamentalists, most people applauded its candor and a wiser, safer sexual revolution was born.
Test the Waters Before Marriage – Who can forget Charlotte’s doomed marriage to the seemingly perfect Trey? After meeting what she thought was the perfect man, the ever-romantic Charlotte decided to wait until marriage to consummate their love, only to discover later that he couldn’t be intimate with her.
Of course, some people still believe that sex before marriage is wrong. Those same people probably don’t watch "Sex and the City" for love lessons. Most of us need to test the waters before marriage, as intimacy is an integral part of a healthy relationship. Even if you plan to save sex for marriage, it’s important that you ask questions about your partner’s sexual health.
You Can Score Outside of Your League – Never underestimate your ability to find love with someone who is seemingly "out of your league." Is someone you are interested in really good looking or in a higher socioeconomic class? This doesn’t mean you weren’t meant to be. Chances are, the idea that you aren’t good enough is just your skewed perception. Believe it or not, true love transcends superficiality.
In a Season Three episode, Miranda begins dating a hot NYPD detective and subsequently ruins the relationship because she is so self-conscious about her own looks. Of course, he finds her very attractive, but her insecurity gets in the way of what could have been a great thing. Charlotte, on the other hand, learns that looks and WASPy status isn’t nearly as important as her love for second husband Harry.
Don’t Change Who You Are – This is a constant theme throughout the show, which only supports the girl power vibe for which "Sex and the City" is so well known. Never lose yourself in a relationship in order to conform to the other person’s life or ideals. Carrie found herself changing for a few men in the show. Although Aidan was seemingly the perfect guy, he wasn’t perfect for her.
One of the more hilarious episodes showed Aidan unsuccessfully introducing the great outdoors to Carrie, a concrete-loving New York City girl. Towards the end of the series, Carrie again found herself lost in a relationship with a man: Russian artist Aleksandr Petrovsky. After pushing her best girlfriends away and moving to Paris with Aleksandr, she soon found she was unhappy because she was living his life instead of her own.
Your Friends are the Best Sounding Boards – Not only did "Sex and the City" teach us that being single was okay, it glorified the tight bonds between friends. The ladies on the show shared every detail of their romantic lives with each other. Not sure what to think of your current love interest? Your BFFs could impart some valued, third party opinions.
Of course, not all of us listen to sound advice, which was the case many times on the show. Charlotte was warned that she was moving too fast with Trey, and how many times was Carrie reminded how difficult Mr. Big could be?
Don’t Drag Out a Doomed Relationship – If the signs are there, don’t ignore them. Carrie found a very nice guy in Aidan, but she knew he wasn’t right for her. Still, she persevered, even sharing her coveted Manhattan apartment with him. Never mind her refusal to wear her engagement ring on her finger — when Aidan started messing with her apartment, we all knew there was trouble.
Of course, the most painful attempt to "make it work" on the show was poor Charlotte and her unwavering devotion to Trey. Yep, a grown man who bathes with his intrusive mother in the room is probably one to avoid. Still, Charlotte agonized as she tried to be the perfect wife in an imperfect relationship.
Learn to Accept the Other Person’s Disinterest – One of the most memorable phrases ever uttered throughout the series was "he’s just not that into you." In fact, this even spawned a hit book and an upcoming film. After a flirty Miranda asks a date to come upstairs to her apartment, she is bewildered when the guy blows her off. How could he possibly decline what was a thinly veiled invitation for sex?
Carrie’s boyfriend Berger informs Miranda that, "he’s just not that into you." Sometimes, it is as simple as that: he or she just isn’t into you and you need to move on. Don’t overanalyze it — just simply find someone who is into you. Yes, it might hurt your ego a little bit, but Miranda didn’t let it bother her that much. In fact, the always-logical lawyer reveled in its simplicity.
Stop Waiting for Perfection – Are you looking for that fairy tale romance? Do you believe in that one true soul mate who will enter your life in cinematic bravado? Then wake up now and realize that perfection rarely exists. Relationships are messy and loud — even the good ones. You really do have to work at it.
Charlotte was almost childlike in her expectations of a "perfect" relationship. This would result in a lot of disappointment. Likewise, Carrie and Mr. Big would experience a cavalcade of break ups before they finally realized that they loved each other despite the fact that their relationship was far from perfect.
Opposites Can Attract – This isn’t just about someone who is out of your league, but someone who is your complete opposite. Although you may be looking for love in someone similar to yourself, you just might your soul mate in a person who is totally different.
Would the work-obsessed and overly responsible Miranda ever dream she would marry a childish bartender? Surprisingly, it actually worked once she finally accepted that opposites really do attract, and can work to balance each other.

June 12th, 2008

Dating After Divorce: 50 Tips to Get Back into the Groove

By Tara Miller

Divorce can leave you reeling, but when you start to pick up the pieces of your life and decide to move back into dating, it can feel a bit strange. If you were married for a long time, you may even feel too intimidated to try dating again. Have no worries, you can jump back into dating and actually enjoy finding out about yourself and meeting other people in the process. The following list offers ideas on how to get prepared for dating, how to go about reconnecting and finding dates, and what to do when you actually start dating.

Re-establish Your Identity

Being a part of a couple for a while will certainly take some of your individuality away. Take advantage of this time after your divorce to find that individuality again. Learn new hobbies, find old friends, and treat yourself with respect. This list tells you how to do that and more.

Let go of the past. You will not be able to move forward until you resolve your feelings about the break-up of your marriage and the divorce. Once you work through these feelings, you’ll find yourself in a much better place to go on with your life.
Rekindle old interests. Did you have a passion for photography before you got married? Pick up that camera again. You may find that you can rediscover yourself through those interests you pushed aside during the marriage.
Find new interests. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn how to paint or go kayaking. Taking up new interests now will help you rediscover qualities about yourself you may have forgotten. It will also get you out and meeting new people.
Learn to enjoy your own company. After living with someone for a while, it can be difficult to enjoy doing things alone. Find ways to have fun on your own.
Take care of yourself. If you’ve gained a few extra pounds, find a way to get some exercise. Eat healthily and take time to pamper yourself. If you feel good about the way you look and feel, others will too.
Lose the negative self-image. If you feel poorly about yourself, you are likely to attract people who will treat you badly. Make a list of your good qualities and remind yourself often of them. Work on building yourself up.
Develop new friendships. You don’t have to ignore your old friends, but often it is helpful to have a new network of friends who didn’t know you and your ex as a couple. New friendships and support systems can help ease your transition after divorce.
Reconnect with old friends. Track down old friends with whom you’ve lost touch over the years. Whether you find you’ve still got lots in common or you’ve both moved on, it will likely enrich your life anyway.
Volunteer. No matter if you have a lot of free time or almost none, there is some place you can volunteer your time. Devoting some time working for others is a great way to discover new things about yourself.
Start a new career. If you’ve been working in a job you hate or if you were staying at home with the children, after a divorce is a good time to start down a new path. Start taking steps to get you going toward that career you’ve always wanted.

Social Networking

One of the most popular ways to stay in touch with friends is through social networking sites. With many sites, not only can you keep up with friends you see every day, but you can also follow those who live further away. Some social networking sites also serve as dating sites, too. If you aren’t already familiar with social networking, after a divorce is a great time to discover it–you might be surprised to find so many of your friends already there. Check out some of these sites below.

Facebook. Find your friends on Facebook, then share photos, play games like Scrabulous, and keep up with what’s happening in their lives. Facebook allows you to adjust privacy controls so that you can choose who sees your profile information.
MySpace. Like Facebook, MySpace allows you to connect with friends and stay current with their lives. MySpace offers music on the profiles and you can personalize your page to your liking.
Twitter. If you just want to keep your friends updated and know what they are up to, Twitter allows you to type in a short update that goes out to your friends. If you like getting messages on your phone, have the updates go directly there.
Pownce. Share messages, files, links, and events with your friends on Pownce. Its aesthetically pleasing design earned itself a place in 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks.
Meetup.com. Choose an interest such as knitting, politics, or speaking French and find a group in your area. Meetups usually happen on a specified day of each month.
Classmates.com. Use this site to find old friends from high school, college, the military, and workplaces. You can also connect with people through specific interest groups. This service is free, but to have full access, you will have to buy a subscription.
Reunion.com. Reunion provides the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, family, and lost loves. With a free membership, you can create a profile and search for friends. With a paid subscription, you get other benefits such as finding out who was searching for you and sending messages to other members.
Flickr. Upload your photos and share them with friends and family on this site. Search for people you know or join a special interest group such as people who appreciate black and white photography.
Flixster. This is the social networking site for movie lovers. You can find your friends and share your favorite movies with them. Also, keep updated on the news from the movie world and meet other movie fans.
Last.fm. For music fans, check out Last.fm. Upload music and videos, discover new music, and share your favorites with your friends. You can also find new friends with similar taste in music.
Shelfari. Book lovers will love this site. Create a virtual book shelf of what you’ve read, are currently reading, or want to read and share with your friends. Connect with new friends in groups and share your book shelf on your blog or other social networking sites.

Online Dating

If you were married for more than a handful of years, dating is much different than it was when you were doing it before. Online dating is the most popular way to get out there and find a partner. The following list offers some of the most popular online dating services.

Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Getting out There

You’ve prepared yourself, made connections, and have figured out how to find a date. Now it’s time to actually go out. Follow these suggestions to make sure your first dating experiences go well and you enjoy yourself.

Don’t talk about the divorce. Especially if you just finalized the divorce or it was particularly messy, the temptation to talk about the details will be strong. Resist the temptation and focus on the person across the table from you instead.
Keep child-talk to a minimum. If you have children, don’t spend the whole date talking about them. Keep to a maximum of about five minutes, then move on to something else.
Show interest. You have accepted or asked someone on a date, so spend that time finding out about them. Try not to compare them to your ex, but find out what makes them unique and fun to know.
Don’t go too fast. The unexpected loneliness of divorce or the desire to fill a gap left empty by your ex may drive you to want to remarry right away. Instead, slow down and enjoy the chance you have to enjoy meeting others or reconnecting with your interests.
Relax. Leave your insecurities about being out of the dating scene at home. Have fun, enjoy your date, and you will find that your date will appreciate you for just being yourself.
Be accepting. Know that your date has also lived a full life that may not be exactly what you expect. Be accepting of the fact that your date may have commitments to children, debt from divorce, or any other number of factors that you might not have anticipated.
But don’t settle. Just because you are feeling lonely, don’t settle for less than what you deserve. A woman who always breaks your dates to be with her friends or a man who treats you with no respect are just not worth your time.
Be aware of old patterns. If you have a history of dating (or marrying) a certain type of person, learn how to break the cycle. Especially if your past choices have lead you to dangerous situations such as drug abuse or violence, seek help to learn how to get away from your old patterns.
Whether to have sex. Whether or not to have sex with your date or how quickly to engage in sex may have a very different feel after being married. You may want to jump right in there again or need to take things slowly. Listen to yourself and do what you need.
Having sex. Once you do begin having sex again, always take precautions against STDs. Talk openly with your partner about your sexual health and use condoms.
Practice dating. Let yourself go out with people who might not be the perfect match. This allows you to get back into the swing of things with a lot less pressure to make the date go perfectly.
First relationship. Many experts believe that the first real relationship after your divorce is an important one for the healing process. Statistics indicate that this first relationship is very unlikely to last, but it provides you a chance to make the transition into your new life.

Dating with Kids

If you have children from your marriage, you have an added challenge to dating. Don’t be discouraged, though. You can and should get out there even with a family. These tips offer ways to make dating and parenting work together.

Talk to your kids. Let them know you will be meeting other people, but reassure them that you love them very much and no one will replace them. This article offers great advice for starting the conversation and keeping the lines open.
Don’t introduce every date. If you have your children meet every person you date, it can confuse them. Leave the introduction for that special someone who will be around for more than a few dates.
Let the relationship with the kids happen naturally. If you introduce your children and they don’t respond well, give them time. Don’t try to force the relationship to happen or you may drive them away.
Let parenting come in its time. If your new boyfriend or girlfriend is becoming more than just a casual date, don’t force him or her into parenting your children too soon. When all of you are comfortable with soccer practice pick-ups or disciplining the children, it will occur naturally.
Don’t let the kids control you. Your children may feel resentful that you are spending less time with them if you start dating someone. Don’t let their feelings stop you from dating. Listen to your children’s feelings and then explain that you like to be with friends just like they do–and reassure them that you love them.
Find a balance. You may feel that your children must always take priority over a date or that your need for a date must always take priority over the children. Neither way is healthy for you or your family. Find a balance and make time for both.

June 10th, 2008

15 Sexiest Gadgets for the Bedroom and Beyond

Even if you think you’ve got a satisfying sex life, there’s a chance you haven’t tapped into your full erotic potential. Role playing, bedroom games and chocolate syrup are all well and good, but to get you really going, we’re dropping these 15 gadgets into your lap to encourage you to try something a little…or a lot wilder. From robots to swings to teeny vibrators that hide in your underwear, you can make the most of these sexy toys with or without a partner.

Vibrators

These toys go way beyond the ordinary vibrator. Have fun with features like rotating beads, wireless remote control capabilities, and special-powered rabbit ears.

The Rabbit: Sex and the City fans will never forget the Season 1 episode in which Miranda and Carrie had to stage an intervention for Charlotte and this vibrator. There are several different versions of the vibrator, including models with swirling pearl beads inside, vibrators that can go in the water, and rabbits that focus especially on the G-spot. All of these vibrators come with a wireless remote control so you can let the rabbit get busy while you relax.
Hitachi Magic Wand: The website Holistic Wisdom ranks this vibrator as "one of the best sex toys available." Use the Hitachi Magic Wand as a body massager or as a vibrator with or without the G-spot stimulation attachment. Holistic Wisdom also considers this toy as one of the best sex toys for overweight men and women.
Vibro Pod: This vibrator is mp3 compatible, so your vibrations pulse along to the rhythm of the song you’re listening to. The Vibro Pod also features an 8-function mode so you can enjoy 8 different types of vibrations and escalations if you don’t have an mp3 player or just want to mix things up.
Cyberskin Passion Flower Strap On: This strap on is designed to stimulate your clitoris during masturbation, oral sex or intercourse. The woman straps the vibrator on, and the super quiet hum massages in all the right places without causing a distraction.
TongueJoy Oral Vibrator: This teeny vibrator straps onto your tongue, giving your partner ultimate satisfaction during oral sex. The vibrator is battery operated, chrome plated and comes with three different sized bands.

Sex Machines and Robots

For the truly experimental, these sex machines and sex robots offer other worldly sexual adventures.

Love Machine: This intense sex machine almost looks like a workout machine, but its dildo and PassionSkin Stroker attachments leave little to the imagination. The machine features a motor that can thrust and stroke you virtually anywhere, vibrating accessories, and different speeds to give you a customized experience on your back, from behind, on top, and any other way you like it.
Spinning Swing: This sex swing also comes with a stand, so you can set it up in any room in your house. The swing features 360-degree rotation and can hold up to 400 lbs.
Andy: Andy is short of Android, and she’s a beloved sex robot with an eerily human appearance. Andy is made with silicone, and she is able to mimic real-life breathing, moaning and sighing. If you ask nicely, Andy can even move around in different positions and urinate, if you so desire.
Infrared Electric Massager: This vibrator also comes with internal sleeves for women, allowing both partners to experiment with different textures and vibrations.
Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit: Assemble your own pole so that you can treat your lover to a sexy striptease wherever you want.

Portable Goodies

Sex doesn’t just take place in the bedroom. Take your sexploration with you wherever you go with these fun toys.

Penis Sleeves: If you want to instantly grow your penis a few inches around or in length, try putting on one of these penis sleeves. You can browse vibrating sleeves, sleeves with special G-spot reach capabilities, and sleeves with solid tips.
Vibrating Panty Pals: You can have an orgasm whenever and wherever you want when you apply one of these battery-powered clitoris stimulators to your underwear. They come in three different designs: a red heart, a pink butterfly, and a purple star.
Masturbation Sleeve: The top of this sleeve resembles a woman’s vagina, and once you slip inside, pearl beads massage your penis according to varying speeds. The opening features a sucking motion to give you pleasure all over, and the toy also comes with a snap-on lid for easy transportation.
Blow Job Simulator: If you’re desperate for a blow job but don’t have a go-to partner, try out one of these blow job simulators. They come in designs as graphic as you like.
Hide Your Vibe Pillow: This toy looks like an ordinary leopard-skin print pillow, but it features a secret "magical" pocket "where you can easily ‘park’ your favorite vibe for long-long time."

June 5th, 2008

100+ Resources to Get You Through a Break Up

By Tara Miller

When you’ve just broken up with someone, you’re probably stuck between wanting to obsess about your ex and your relationship and wanting to zap yourself into the magical realm of "I’m so over it and on to something new." If you’re staying up until 3 a.m. searching the Internet for answers to why "the one" turned out to be "the one who dumped you," make this list your first stop. We’ve compiled over 100 different resources to soothe your aching heart, indulge in distractions to avoid wallowing 24/7, and eventually move on and maybe even start dating again. But let’s take it slow.

Grieving and the First Steps

Let yourself grieve the healthy way by considering these tips and little bits of advice that will help you get back on your feet – gradually.

How to Survive a Break Up: MamasHealth.com recommends making the best of your new free time, learning to accept your emotions, and doing something for yourself to get over a break up.
10 Tips to Help Get Through a Break Up: These ten tips will help you grieve without letting you fall apart.
The Aftermath of a Break up: This article explores how people feel after a break up and tries to offer comfort for dealing with the pain and confusion that comes when a relationship ends.
Empowering Break Up Songs: This list of songs includes "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera, "Strong Enough," by Cher, and "You Keep Me Hangin’ On," by The Supremes.
Get Through a Break Up: This post challenges readers to get some physical contact, exercise, and force themselves to be social.
Dealing With Anger After a Break Up: This three-part series will help you deal with anger in a healthy, responsible way.
Losing a Partner: If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you’re probably having a very tough time losing your partner, even if you’re trying to focus on the bad parts. This article will help you grieve and then move on.
Stop Crying and Get Over It: This post explores break up behavior like denial and depression, and gives tips on how to get over it.
Your Girlfriend Left You, Now What?: If you’re trying to get over the pain and shock of a sudden break up, turn to this guide for help.
Extreme Breakup Recovery: Maximum Healing, Minimum Time: This approach recommends facing the reality of the break up, accepting it, seeing the lessons, and then taking yourself to a new level.
The Emotions of Grief During a Breakup: Susan J. Elliott, J.D., M.Ed. of the blog Getting Past Your Past http://GettingPastYourPast.wordpress.com goes over the three phases of grief in this post.
College Candy’s Break-Up Survival Kit: The College Candy offers this survival kit for dealing with a break up, including making lots of plans, getting drunk and putting chamomile tea bags on your puffy red eyes.

Counseling

These articles focus on the emotional pain of breaking up and how you can heal yourself back to normal.

It’s Not Me It’s You: Read the review of this popular break-up advice book here.
Getting Through a Breakup: The UCLA Center for Women and Men posts this article to help you heal, gain perspective, and find support in the wake of a painful break up.
Break-ups: How To Survive Them: This post goes over emotional effects of a break up like having trouble trusting anyone, struggling with starting over, and even suffering an identity crisis.
Recovering From a Break-Up: This article from the University of California – Riverside Counseling Center has lots of advice for young singles going through a tough break up.

Divorce

Breaking up a 6-month relationship isn’t the same as getting a divorce. Read this list for unique advice for more complicated break ups.

Stages of Divorce/Breakup: Understand the normal stages of getting through a divorce, and you’ll be more ready to accept and get through each one.
Divorce 360: This site is still in beta form, but it hosts lots of resources for deciding whether or not to get divorced, moving on, getting through a separation, marriage counseling, and more.
Protecting Children Through a Divorce of Break-Up: For many divorcing couples, protecting their children is a huge worry. Use this guide to help you manage it the right way.
Dealing with a Divorce: From "splitting the assets" to breaking the news to your children to moving on, this post tackles it all.
Moving On Checklist: Steps to Consider After Divorce: If you think you’re finally ready to move on after a divorce, consider these steps first.
Helping Your Child Cope with the Breakup: Get great tips for managing your divorce and your children in this article.

Break up Humor

Sometimes a little laugh will help you get through the worst times. Check out these humorous break up jokes and stories to give yourself a little relief.

We’re Through: The Breakup Song: This song is a funny remake of the end song in Juno.
Boozing Through a Break Up: Drowning your sorrows in alcohol to get over your ex may not be the healthiest strategy, but this article offers a hysterical take on boozing through your break up.
Shocking Statistic Reveals 1 in 7 Share K-FEd’s Breakup Fate: At least your ex didn’t break up with you in front of millions of people. Or if they did, at least you’re not alone!
No One Cares About Your Girlfriend Back Home: If you’re feeling bad about breaking up because long distance wasn’t a great idea, read this funny article from the Onion.
Top 10 Ways to Break Up: This humorous article lists "stop showering" and "fake your own death" as ways to break up with someone.
Breaking Up is Hard to Do: This article lists break up reactions according to college major. For example, business majors would "decide that they’re spending way too much money," and education majors would "concede that the relationship was a learning experience."
Why Booze and Breakups Don’t Mix: This article actually offers good advice, but you’ll probably get a kick out of imagining the drunk dial scenarios.
Cyber Break Up Humor: This parody lists different reasons why a cyber couple would break up.
Funny Break Up Stories: Here’s a clip from Oprah that features crazy real-life break up stories in honor of the release of the film The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. If the stories don’t make you feel better, getting to look at Vince Vaughn might!
How to Break Up: This funny, oversimplified cartoon tracks a relationship through the happy times, break ups, back together again, another break up…you get the idea.

Articles and Guides

Sometimes you just want someone else to tell you how to behave and what to do after a break up, helping you pick yourself up off the floor and start behaving like a coherent human being. You’ll find plenty of survival guides here.

How to Get Through a Breakup: Tips like "stay away from your ex" and "express yourself" will help you concentrate on the things that you really want in life.
How to Get Through a Break Up: This guide walks you through each step of the breaking up process.
The DUMPED! Break-Up Survival Guide: This article on Girlposse.com will help you through the first 48 hours, the first week, second week, and last two weeks of a break up.
How to Break Up: Part I: Catherine Specter of The Huffington Post writes about distracting yourself, surviving the first few days, and rebounding the right way.
Steps to Getting Through a Break Up: Can you get over a break up in ten steps? Follow this guide to find out.
How to Get Through a Break Up: If you’re tired of reading sappy articles about getting over your ex, try this cut and dry guide from eHow.com.
Helping a Friend Through a Breakup: If your friend is having a tough time recuperating from a bad break up, read this guide for help knowing what to do.
Getting Through a Breakup: This article is written for adolescents trying to cope with their first breakup.
When Breakups Aren’t So Clean: Cutting ties with your ex isn’t so easy when you work in the same office, have the same friends and aren’t able to get your stuff back. This article finds ways to deal with the messier problems.
Breakup Don’ts: Don’t forget to bathe, don’t stalk your ex’s new boyfriend or girlfriend, and definitely don’t get too out of control socially after a break up.
What do Do After a Breakup: This article helps new singles get "to the day when [they] can tell [themselves] "what was I thinking?"
Digital Breakup: This collection of online tools and resources will help you break up with someone, get over your break up, and start dating again.
Getting Through a Break Up: This terrific guide from nzgirl goes over the things you will feel like doing after a break up vs. the things you should you do.

Being Independent

After a break up, it’s tough to imagine being independent. Stop feeling lonely and start realizing that you might actually be a pretty cool person to hang out with — by yourself.

The Magic Formula for Overcoming a Break-up Fast: This blogger lists seven important traits for getting over a break up super fast.
Why You Should Never Try and Sacrifice Your Values to Save a Relationship: If you’re feeling guilty about breaking up with someone because you refused to change, read this article to give your self-confidence a boost.
To 5 Break Up Songs: This list of break up songs focuses on being alone and being free.
Breaking Through: Senior Spring Break-Up Blitz: This guide for college students offers advice for freeing yourself of a relationship before graduation.
Breaking Up Late in Life: Being independent after a very long relationship can be scary when you’re past the traditional dating age. Get advice from this post.
What’s So Great About Being Alone?: Find out what real readers have to say about being alone, and you’ll find new ideas for things to keep you preoccupied.
Should You Be Single for a While?: Consider the single life before moving on to another relationship right away.
The Singles Cafe: This site has several articles about living alone, being independent and being more social.
Rediscovering Yourself and Being Your Own Person: This post shows you how to "re-discover and re-invent" yourself after a relationship ends.
How to Inch Your Way Back to Being Social: If you and your ex spent all your time exclusively together, you may find that forcing yourself to be social after a break up is tough. This guide will help you through the transition.

Learning from Your Break Up

Take these quizzes and read these relationship education posts to turn your break up into a learning experience.

10 Positive Break Up Quotes and What We Can Learn From Them: These "positive and inspiring break up quotes" will help you get over your break up in a healthy way.
Learning From a Relationship Breakdown: This detailed article goes over typical feelings during a break up and offers up lessons that can be learned from the end of the relationship.
Boosting Self-Esteem After a Breakup: This Q&A from iVillage emphasizes the importance of focusing on your needs and your confidence levels after a break up.
The Break-Up Test: Take this quiz to see if you’re ready to move on.
What Went Wrong? When Relationships Go From Hot to Cold: Learn what leads to a sour relationship so you’ll know better next time.
The Post-Breakup Quiz: Cheer yourself up by discovering you’re probably better off without your ex in this quiz.
Test Your Commitment Readiness: Did you learn anything from your last relationship? Find out if you’re ready to get serious again with this quiz.
Do You Fall In Love Too Fast?: Take this test and find out if this is the reason for your last break up.
Who’s Your Mr. Right?: Get over your last guy by finding how that your true Mr. Right is someone completely different.
Relationship Quizzes: Visit this site for tons of relationship quizzes that will gradually help you move on and learn more about yourself.

Blogs and Sites

From an online comic strip to The Breakup Blog, bookmark these sites so you can turn to them for help over and over again.

LovesAGame: This blog is all about break ups, relationship healing, dealing with your ex and lost loves.
The Breakup Blog: Recent posts on this blog include "6 Signs You’re Finally Over Your Ex-Girlfriend," and "Why Sex With The Ex Is Bad News During A Breakup."
Breakup Girl: This site includes advice, comics and animation based on Breakup Girl, the "only superhero whose domain is love — or lack thereof — and who mends broken hearts worldwide with the help of the worldwide Web." Her "job is to fight crimes of the heart, stop dating indignities, get your stuff back, help you help your mom through your breakup, [and] make good relationships great."

Getting Support and Moving On

After you’ve grieved, moped and trash talked your ex to your friends, it’s time to get yourself ready to move on. Find support and encouragement in this list.

How Do You Get Through a Breakup?: Dive Caroline asks readers to share their real-life tips for getting over a break up. Read their responses for extra advice.
How Do I Get Through a Bad Break up?: Find out what readers have to say about getting through a break up here.
How to Forget a Past Relationship: This realistic guide can help you totally let go of a past relationship.
If At First You Don’t Succeed?: Should you try to get back together with your ex after a painful break up? This article explores the option.
Moving On: Life After Your Ex: There is definitely life after your ex. Learn how to "clean house," limit contact with your ex and forgive him or her so that you can effectively move on.
10 Things You Should Know Before You Commit: If your last relationship lasted several years, you may have forgotten the things you should know and do before starting up a new one. Use this guide for tips on how to commit again.
The Vicious Cycle of Your Memories: Stop torturing yourself with relationship memories by taking the advice offered here.
After a Breakup: Getting Back in the Game: This article offers advice like "get pampered," "take care of your body," and "help someone else" to give you the confidence to move on.
Relationships: How to Start Moving on from a Break-up: LifeSpy’s article suggests getting rid of relationship souvenirs, organizing a fresh start and staying away from sappy movies as effective ways to move on.
From Being Under Him to Getting Over Him: A Timeline: If all your friends hated your ex, how long will it take you to get over him? What about if the sex was great or he forgot all your birthdays? Find out in this fun timeline.

Distractions

Movies and other distractions will indulge your break up obsession but will give you a little perspective on your specific situation.

An Inspiring Break Up Movie You Must Not Miss: This blogger recommends watching Under the Tuscan Sun to help you get over a break up.
Break-Up Movies: From Fatal Attraction to The Way We Were to When Harry Met Sally, these are some of the best break-up movies. You can also complete a change of address here.
Just Went Through a Breakup? Time to Party!: College Candy recommends throwing yourself a party to help get you through a breakup. The article has lots of links and ideas to help you with the theme.
Five Songs to Get You Through the Night: The Messy Breakup: Soothe your teary self to sleep with songs like "At Least that’s What You Said" and "Road to Joy."
3 Healthy Distractions from Break-Up Pain: This article lauds the power of a girls’ night out, shopping sprees and a new healthy diet and exercise plan.
Sexiest Stars: TV’s Hottest Men: Was your ex as hot as Chace Crawford or Taye Diggs? We doubt it.
Post Break-Up Distractions: Guys will find distraction in these activities.
SI Swimsuit Collection: There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and you can start moving on from your break up here.

Dating Again

Gradually get back in the game by posting a profile on an online dating site and increasing your circle of friends.

Online Dating — A Cure for Post Breakup Blues: Find out why online dating can help you ease back into the dating game.
Dating After a Break-Up: This article suggests several different ideas for meeting new people.
After a Break-Up: How to Enter the Dating Scene: Tips like "do not jump into the bedroom too quickly" and "learn how to compromise" are smart tips for new singles.
How Online Dating Helps You Recover from a Break-Up: This article asks readers to consider online dating before tackling real-world dating.
Blind Dating Tips: If you’re not up to searching for a date yourself, have your friends set you up.
How to Fall in Love Again after a Breakup: Even if you’re not ready for love just yet, reading this article might make you feel better, by letting you know that it’s possible to love again.
How to Get Through Your First Date After the Divorce: If you’re nervous about dating again after being a in a long-term relationship, consider the advice in this article.
6 Guys You Don’t Want to Date After a Divorce: From the "Mr. Angry – I’m Divorced Too" guy to "The Dr. Phil Clone," steer clear of these losers.

Meeting Your Ex for the First Time

Prepare yourself for the inevitable first meeting with your ex by considering the advice offered here.

6 Tips on Playing it Cool During an Ex-Sighting: Don’t run and hide when you see your ex for the first time since the break up. Turn to this guide to help you make the most of the dreaded encounter.
"Meet Your Ex-Girlfriend After a Breakup — 6 Dos and Dont’s: From keeping the mood light to acting cool to keeping your expectations low, this guide goes over the basic rules for meeting an ex for the first time.
Can We Be Friends? Shifting from Partnership to Friendship: This smart guide will help you decide whether or not being friends with your ex is a good idea for your specific situation.
How do You Respond When You Run Into Your Ex?: Find out how real-life readers answer this question on the Love Shack forum.

Miscellaneous

From being on a break to browsing items at The Break-Up SuperShop, this list has even more break up resources to keep you going.

On a ‘Break’: What does being on a "break" really mean? This article "examine[s] the male psyche" to find out.
Sex With Your Ex: Should you have noncommittal sex with your ex? This article explores whether or not it’s a good idea.
The Break-Up SuperShop: Girlposse.com’s break-up store has a variety of books about surviving a break up.
Dealing with a Break Up: Find out how to "get custody" of your friends, survive being dumped, and start dating again with the help of this article.

June 4th, 2008

50+ Dating Tips for Gold Diggers

Quick: a cougar with $100 bills dripping from her pocketbook is passing you by! Do you a) follow behind her snatching up the money before dashing off; b) catch a handful of the cash and return it to her hoping for a reward; or c) leave all of the money on the ground and "bump" into her by mistake before whisking her off her feet and charming her into a solid relationship that results in your becoming her sole benefactor in her will. If you want lessons in how to be a successful gold digger, turn to this list of more than 50 tips, all designed to get you rich quick.

The Hunt

Find yourself a sugar daddy or sugar mama by following this advice.

Get your priorities straight: Before unleashing your seduction prowess, make sure you know exactly what you want out of your next relationship. A man worth $1 million or an international playboy worth $100 million?
Make your list: Keep your little black book up to date by researching Forbes’ lists of the richest men and women, the world’s top hedgefund managers and Saudi princes.
Stay organized: If you get caught dating more than one millionaire at a time, you’ll blow your cover and you’ll never be able to show your face at a major benefit again. Stay organized and avoid double booking.
Become a stalker: Knowing the habits and schedules of your potential mates will make it easier to seduce them.
Get a boob job: You have to look the part, right? Women should get a boob job so they’ll more easily fit in with all the other gold diggers clinging on to their society men.
Set up a fake business or money story to hide behind: No one can accuse you of being a gold digger if you’re already wealthy, can they? If you’re actually quite poor, come up with a story about a dead uncle who left you all of his money or a fake enterprise a la Wedding Crashers to give you a solid cover.
Get an invitation: Trying to sneak into a gala or the VIP room without an invite will call unnecessary attention to yourself and make everyone suspect your legitimacy as a rich, important somebody. Step on whoever you can to get a real invitation.
Join aSmallWorld: See if you can join this social networking site that’s reserved for the international jet setting group. You’ll meet new prey and will learn about the hottest parties to attend.
Advertise on Craigslist: Put up a posting that asks for someone who has a good education, a job in a prestigious field and likes to take vacations.
Before you ask someone their name, ask if they’ll buy you a drink: That way, you’ll know straight up if your potential sugar daddy or mama is okay with spending money freely on you.
Go to auctions where there is a minimum bidding price: Scrape together the cash or tag along with a rich friend to an auction or fundraiser that requires each party goer to spend a certain amount on tickets and bids.
Become well-versed in issues of finance: If you’re only going to be talking with rich men and women, make sure you are current on the stock market, economy, and anything else high society or money-related.
Offer to pay for the tip: Tsk-tsk’ing your date away from paying the tip while you whip out your roll of $5 bills will make you seem generous and independent. If you don’t at least pay for the tip, you risk looking like a mooch.
Wear lots of perfume, cologne, jewelry and outrageously fancy clothes: To blend in with the other rich people, of course.
"Forget" to bring your credit card: If all you bring to the bars or to dinner is a few dollars, your date will have to pay for both of you.
Only pursue cougars and older men: They’re the only ones with real money anyway.

Fitting In

Gold diggers must fit in with the "in" crowd if they want everyone to believe they’re genuinely attached to their millionaire lover.

Always own the newest model of everything: Show everyone you’re on the cutting edge by having the newest phone, latest clothes and all the best toys no one’s even heard of yet.
Show off your lover’s money: Show off your lover’s success by bragging to everyone how rich you two are.
Act very smart and put on heirs: To convince everyone that you’re disgustingly rich, tell everyone that you went to Yale and Harvard and that your family vacationed in St. Tropez and Palm Beach during your breaks. If they ask you your last name, just make up something that sounds rich.
Play tennis: Even if you don’t really know how to play tennis, you should still try to hold your own against those rich socialites who were trained by the professionals.
Beg for more money: You’ll need a hefty allowance to shop for clothes, a nice car and lots of presents for your generous date.
Become intoxicated at each party you attend: This sort of behavior is actually encouraged at rich people events, so you’ll fit in quite well.
Spend ridiculous amounts of money everywhere you go: Spending lots of money isn’t just for cars, clothes or vacations. Spend way too much at the grocery store, the gas station and the convenience store to prove to everyone how important you and your partner are.
Wear fur and jewelry in the middle of the afternoon: Just in case someone pops by and you need to show off.
Become friends with other rich men or women…just in case: Even if you’re technically taken, you can still flirt with Donald Trump and Stavros Niarchos just in case something "happens" to your lover.
Know everyone’s financial history backwards and forwards…and repeat it back to them whenever you can: Flatter your new friends by revealing to them how much you know about their bankruptcies, wills, new business ventures, trust funds and stock holdings. They’ll admire your attention to detail.

Getting What You Want, or, Focusing on the Money

Being a gold digger isn’t always easy. If you start to lose focus because sex with a much older man or woman is less appealing than you thought, or if you’re actually bored all day while everyone else is at work, follow this advice to keep you going strong.

Only think about money: Even if you’ve realized that you don’t actually love your new spouse or partner, focus on the money to make yourself feel better.
Recite "Money can buy you happiness" over and over: This little mantra will keep you focused even when you’re in the depths of despair.
Don’t get a job: No matter how bad things get, you can always find another rich lover, but never get a job. You’ll ruin your reputation.
Set up an affair for your lover: That way, you can catch him or her red handed, and demand new presents if they expect you to forgive them.
Make your lover jealous by flirting with other millionaires: Start a bidding war by flirting with other millionaires or billionaires. You’ll make your lover jealous, encouraging them to spend more money on you so that you’ll stay.
Go over your list of ex-boyfriends and girlfriends: If you survived dating other old, crabby men or women, you can make this relationship work too. It’s all worth it in the end.
Start stealing cash: Swipe $100 bills whenever you can so that you’ll always have a safety net just in case something happens.
Take lots of vacations alone: Ask to go on vacations without your lover so that you can spend all of their money without having to spend any time with them.
Visit the country house: Visit each of the country houses to "check on the servants" as a way to take a break from your sugar daddy or sugar mama without having to break up and lose the money.
Have a child: If you’re afraid that your lover is about to dump you, get pregnant so that they’ll forever be tied to you financially.
Refuse to sign a pre-nup: No matter what.
Constantly take on new redecorating projects: Redecorate every room in every house that belongs to your lover, just to keep yourself entertained and to have something to talk about at the club.
Go on another diet or exercise plan: If you aren’t happy, go on a more extreme diet or exercise plan to keep you distracted, make others envious of you, and spend more money on gurus, diet pills, gym memberships and spa detox retreats.
Pay in cash: If you pay in cash, there’s no record of where you spent your money, so you can tell your lover that you gave it away to a beggar on the street when you really got a dye job.
Plan lots of surprise dinners and special nights out for your lover: They will make you look like a caring partner, but you’ll be putting it all on your lover’s tab, of course.

The Break Up

Sometimes gold diggers have to deal with the painful break up of their relationship with the money and the will. Deal with death, divorce and separation by considering these last tips.

Hire a lawyer to manage the break up: even if it was just a one night stand.
Steal your ex’s Rolodex: That way, you’ll have all of their rich friend’s phone numbers for when you’re ready to rebound.
Start dressing even more provocatively than you did before the break up: That way, your ex will want you even more and may want to reconcile. If not, they may feel guilty enough to give you more presents or concessions during a divorce.
Don’t get too sentimental: Money and property are essential, so snatch everything up while you still can.
Visit WealthyMen.com: Go to this site to move on and meet someone even richer.
Barter for long-term settlements: If you’re in the middle of a divorce, keep your eyes on the long-term prizes, like vacation homes, private jets, stocks, and heirloom jewelry.

Your Heroes

Every gold digger needs to have a hero to look up to when times get tough. From Playmates to supermodels, these gold diggers went after what they wanted and got it every time.

Holly Madison: Holly Madison is one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends who appears on the E! reality series The Girls Next Door. According to the show, Madison is Hefner’s principal girlfriend at the moment, though he has had numerous girlfriends over the years. When Madison and Hefner met, Hefner had seven other girlfriends, but after a couple of years of dating, Madison has to compete with only two other "official" girlfriends. Gold diggers can take tips from Holly Madison, who consistently drops hints to Hugh Hefner that she wants to get married, despite his reputation. Persistence is key, ladies.
Heidi Klum: Most people know Heidi Klum as one of the sexiest and most successful Victoria’s Secret models of all time, but before her marriage to singer Seal, Heidi Klum was married to Flavio Briatore, who was 23 years her senior. Klum was still pregnant with Briatore’s child when she began dating Seal in 2004. Gold diggers can still take classy lessons from Klum, though, who announced her pregnancy on the same day that Briatore and Fiona Swarovski were caught kissing.
Anna Nicole Smith: Though Anna Nicole’s life ended in tragedy, she was the ultimate gold digger and became a celebrity in her own right. After her second husband billionaire J. Howard Marshall, who was 89 years old when he married the 26 year old Playboy model, died, Anna Nicole Smith inherited his wealth. Soon after, she filed for bankruptcy but ultimately became a legend and millionaire in her own right.
Heather Mills: Heather Mills is Paul McCartney’s ex-wife and one determined gold digger. During a nasty divorce saga, Mills demanded millions of dollars from McCartney, and according to Hollyscoop.com, she ultimately got $50 million out of the marriage and is now catching the eye of Donald Trump. Not bad for an ex-prostitute.
Marla Maples: Marla Maples is best known as the former beauty queen who had an affair with Donald Trump while he was married to Ivana. The two eventually married, had a daughter named Tiffany, and of course divorced. Since then, Maples has appeared on WWF WrestleMania VII and on the TV show The Ex-Wives Club. With a little determination and strategic dating, you too can become as successful as Marla Maples.

June 3rd, 2008

How to: Get What You Want in Bed (50 Tips ‘n Tricks)

Wanting more from your sex life? Wanting to have a sex life? Maybe you like the sex you are having, but want it to be better. Whether you have been out twice or you’ve been married for 15 years, there’s bound to be something from the following suggestions to help you get what you want in bed. Have fun experimenting with these ideas.

Romance

Getting into bed is the first step. Whether it’s the first time for you as a couple or the hundredth, a little romance can get things moving in that direction pretty quickly. Taking the time to set the scene is definitely worth the effort.

Flowers. Never underestimate the power of flowers. This isn’t just for the girls, either. Many guys like flowers too. Girls, try showing up with a single daisy for your guy and see how he reacts.
Picnic. Plan ahead by stashing a simple meal, a couple of glasses, some wine, and a blanket in a secluded spot. Take your date to your destination for a surprise (and very romantic) date that is sure to set the stage.
Lingerie. Women, buy it and wear it as a great surprise. Men, buy it and give it. Ask for help on sizing if you aren’t sure (and if in doubt, buy it too small rather than too large).
Candles. Strategically placed candles can set the mood for a romantic encounter of any kind. Whether you are having a romantic dinner, watching a movie, or moving on to the bedroom, candles add warmth to a room and make the statement that you put forth an extra effort to create a special place for your partner.
Music. Nothing can change the mood of a room faster than music. Make your selection thoughtfully, though. If he hates classical music or she doesn’t really care for 70′s soft rock, then keep that in mind when selecting the perfect background music.
Feel special. Making your partner feel special is a very romantic gesture. Paying attention when she is speaking or telling him how much you like what he is wearing are both easy ways to show your someone that they are special to you.
Scent. Certain smells can set the mood. Jasmine, lavender, and rose are just a few great aromas for romance. Learn what scents you can use to get things off to a good start with your partner.
Flirt. Whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been together for years, a little flirting goes a long way. Smiling, winking, and gentle joking are all great ways of simple flirting without going overboard.
Love notes. Leave little love notes for your partner. Something as simple as "I’m looking forward to seeing you tonight" on a slip of paper tucked under the car windshield wiper or something more complex as a list of fifty things you love about your partner will show how much you care and can be read and remembered more than once.
Touch. This idea is a super simple way to spice up your romance. A light touch on your partner’s arm while you are talking, holding hands while walking, and a spontaneous hug are all great ways to show your affection.

Foreplay

Jumping right into sex may have its time and place, but usually, you want to slow things down a little and ease into the act. Foreplay gets you both in the mood and enhances the sex that’s soon to follow.

Kissing. Kissing on the lips is a very sensual experience. When it’s time for sex, don’t forget about the kissing to keep things impassioned.
Kissing all over. Moving on from the lips, having your partner kiss all over your body will help steam things up. Ask him or her to try kissing in new places. Also, if your partner is reluctant to perform oral sex, this might help get things rolling in that direction.
Feet. A sensual foot massage can do the trick for many people. Use lotion or oil with peppermint in it for a stimulating foot rub.
Hands. Not just holding hands, but playing with your partner’s hands can be very sexy. Try this hand massage for a great way to relax and arouse your partner.
Ears. Many people love having a lick or tickle in their ears or a gentle nibble on the ear lobe. Try your partner’s ear a try to see how he or she reacts.
Snuggle. Enjoy curling up together and enjoying each other’s touch. It can start long before you make your way to the bed, so start snuggling your love when dinner is over, in the car ride home, or while you are watching a movie.
Scalp. Brushing hair, rubbing the scalp, or just running your finger along the hairline are all very sensual ways to stimulate your partner. The multiple nerve endings in the scalp should not be overlooked as an erotic zone. How about washing your girl’s hair? Give this suggestion a try.
Lips. Move beyond kissing your partner’s lips. Touch them with your finger or tongue for a playful bit of sexiness. Try nibbling or sucking on the lower lip too.
Talk. Whisper in your partner’s ear what you would like to do with them. The anticipation of the deeds and the sexy whisper in the ear will get both you and your partner excited about what’s to come.
Explore. Many couples haven’t taken the time to really check each other out. Run your eyes, hands, tongue, even your toes across your your lover’s body. You may find a favorite spot, and so may your partner.

Enjoying Sex

One way to ensure that you and your partner have a repeat performance is by making sure you both enjoy the sex. If you want to make a few changes, here are some suggestions for enhancing your experience.

Slow down. If things are progressing too fast and finish before you even get started, ask your partner to slow down a bit. Especially for women, taking time in lovemaking is important. Some experts believe it takes women 20 minutes to get fully aroused.
Make a change. Changing positions can start a new rhythm as well as offer the opportunity to come at the issue from a whole new angle.
Be a guide. Put your lover’s hands (or other parts) where you want them. Gently guiding him or her to the place where you like it tells your partner where to go and ensures you are getting the pleasure you want.
Noise. Give a little moan when your partner does something you like. This lets him or her know what’s working for you.
Lose the stress. Feeling uncomfortable or stressed will not lead to enjoyable sex. Find ways to reduce your stress or leave your worries outside the bedroom.
Communicate. Tell your sweetie what you like or what you don’t like. This is the most direct and effective way of making sure your sex is what you want it to be.
Take charge. Passively waiting for your lover to do what you want may not guarantee you get the most out of sex. Take charge for a while to make sure your desires are being met.
Tantric sex. Learn about this ancient approach to sexuality that prolongs the sex act as well as teaches about enhanced sexual energy. Tantric sex has been around for over 6,000 years, so there must be something right about this philosophy.
Tantric quickie. Follow these suggestions from Third Age for building up sexual energy without orgasm so that your sexual encounters are more intense and frequent.
Playful sex. Enjoy playful sex with these five tips. Make sure you partner is on board for this, as certain aspects, such as teasing, might be misunderstood.

Climax

For many, orgasm is the ultimate goal of the sexual encounter. It definitely makes the experience more intense. The following list offers suggestions to lead you and your partner to orgasm.

Kama Sutra. The Kama Sutra is the ultimate guide book to lovemaking. While some of the positions seem just too complicated to do in real life, there are some much easier positions that will guarantee a fulfilling orgasm for both partners. Try these five positions modified for modern day usage from iVillage.com.uk.
Position yourself. Changing your positions not only spices up the routine, you can also enhance the orgasm for both men and women. Try these positions for a better orgasm for the woman.
Oral pleasure. Both men and woman enjoy oral sex. If you and your partner are both comfortable with it, use oral stimulation to enhance the actual act of intercourse. For men, hold off on orgasm so that you can still have some fun after oral sex. For women, the oral orgasm will often lead to a more intense vaginal orgasm.
G spot. Much has been made about whether or not women have a magical G spot. However, most agree there is an extra sensitive spot in women. Follow these instructions to find and stimulate the G spot.
For men. Don’t forget that men can enhance their orgasms too. These seven tips will help guys enjoy their climax even more.
Practice edging. Edging relies on stopping or slowing stimulation just before climax in order to then experience a more intense orgasm. This technique can be used for both men and women to enhance the orgasm.
Kegel. Kegel exercises work to strengthen the pelvic floor. Usually, women are told to do these exercises during pregnancy or after menopause when the pelvic floor naturally weakens. However, practicing Kegel exercises tones the vagina, which intensifies sex for both partners. It also increases blood flow to the vaginal area, thus making the entire region more sensitive. Men can do Kegel exercises, too, for prolonged sex and a more intense orgasm.
Antioxidants. Eating foods that are high in antioxidants such as blueberries helps boost dopamine production in your brain, which is exactly what sexual enhancement medications do.
Creams for women. Some over-the-counter topical creams for women can enhance their stimulation, resulting in a more intense experience. Find out how these creams work here.
Lubrication. If you haven’t used lubrication for your sex, give it a try. Added moisture and the enhancements available can help bring about or intensify an orgasm. You can choose a basic lubricant, something with scent or taste, or one that offers a warm tingle. With such a wide range of products, there is much to sample.

Something New

As much as you may enjoy sex, it can sometimes use a boost, especially if you and your partner have been together for a while. These ideas offer lots of fun options to recharge your sexual battery and and help you get exactly what you want.

Games. Incorporate a few games into your sex life. Move beyond the cliche Strip Poker and take these suggestions or come up with some of your own.
Toys. If you haven’t already, discover the joy of toys in sex. This article offers both sides of enjoying and being reluctant to try sex toys. Read it and decide if this might be a new trick for you.
Position. If Missionary Position is your standard, break out and explore more options. Try some of the suggestions for new positions from the Climax section above.
Location. Move out of the bed. Finding a new place to have sex can be exciting and pushes your creativity. Also, don’t feel that you have to keep it in your house. Experiment with the back yard or that unisex restroom in the hallway outside your favorite restaurant.
Time of day. If you are used to having sex just before bed, explore other times to play. You may be surprised to discover how much more energy or excitement you can generate with sex first thing in the morning or during lunch.
Fantasies. Almost everyone has sexual fantasies. Bring some of these secret thoughts to life by acting on your or your partner’s fantasies. Read about the top ten fantasies for women and men in this article. (Click on the woman for her top ten and the man for his.)
Surprise. The element of surprise is a great way to spice things up. If you or your partner have always wanted to try something but never have, surprise him or her with it and you are sure to have a fun experience.
Talk dirty. Make sure this is something your partner might like before using it. It could be a turn-off if your partner feels degraded.
Role play. Play out a fantasy or use some of these tips on ways to get some fun in your sex life. Use this costume coupon code to get a deal on your wildest dreams.
Massage oil. Massage oil can be used as a sensual aid to giving and receiving massages. Often it is scented with an essential oil that also works to stimulate your sexual energy.